Hi(: just wanted to say that your blog is my favorite,! really(: just like that. Every time I visit it, there are new things which i love more and more every day, and the funny part is that every quote you post is exactly the same way I feel. Btw, here is a song that you’ll probably like it. The name of the band is: “Dog is dead” and the song “Glockenspiel song”.
Hope you like it. Have a nice day.
Byee(:
If you’ve got a minute today, read “If I Had My Life to Live Over” by: Nadine Stair … Truly Inspirational. You can find it on my blog, http://espressogandhi.blogspot.com/ … THANKS!
I don’t know if you like Hafiz, but I love this poem by him called ‘The God Who Only Knows Four Words’:
Every
Child
Has known God,
Not the God of names,
Not the God of dont’s,
Not the God who ever does
Anything weird,
But the God who only knows four words
And keeps repeating them, saying:
“Come dance with Me.”
Come
Dance.
Comment by Anya —
June 22, 2011
Am I fucked?
Have the things that have lead up to this very moment in time permanently screwed with my ability to just relax.
I find myself @ 12:57 pm laying next to the person I care so much typing this very sentence while he snores, relaxed not a worry in the world ready to concor the day ahead.
Me on the other hand have a million things on my mind of one of which is the fact that I just tried to confess the void of loneliness will never be filled because I’m in constant worry that I will fuck up somehow stupid.
Tonight can be totalled to a complete failure. One: Confession the raw emotion/thought compelling me to stay awake and not be able to close my eyes and find peace of mind. Two: Watching a movie on being so ashamed of your life that you strive so hard for another, and
never actually being able to reach your goal..(worries me) only for the simple fact that I know what I am capable in life. But how do I get there? And where is there ? Jesus I just don’t want to one day wake up and be so ashamed of my life I either decide I can’t go through it
either sober, or worse..having to feel the need to pretend to be someone I’m not or going to the extreme of having to live envious of everyone else’s lives around me.
Is being with someone not the right thing for me at this moment?
Someone who’s life is so much better paved than my own?
Although it is so wrong to even compare lives because we each come from different paths, different lives & for some reason at this time of at our lives we’ve crossed paths.
Is someone who can sleep so soundly, truly have any real worry in their lives?
Someone who has stability within family and friends.
….With someone who has a friend here an there, but family…simply means you share common physical characteristics.
Everyone knows to have stability in one’s life you need to have it within yourself first to be able to be truly happy and content.
Welllllllll where the fuck to find that?
Try being single to two god damn years & getting the taste of stability and having it all crash at your feet.
My solution…buying a fucking pug. Truth, it’s something I’ve wanted forever.
Fail at the fact, it was the worst timing cause I’m living with the crazies..which means nothing is ever stable; therefore having a dog in an unstable environment is dumb as shit because tho who is not stable within themselves should not rely on a dog for unconditional love
simply because it is the only thing that can give it to me without asking for too too much in return.
FUCK HE SNORES LOUD.
“BABE, STOP SNORING”
“HUH…GNAHHHHHHHH GHNAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
It’s official, I’m typing everything that comes to my mind, for absolutly no reason.
Haven’t decided if this is a bad thing. Or what the real purpose of this is. All I know is that I have really bad mispelling & I have made sure that every ‘i’ has been capatalized..except for that one.
I honest to god just spent the last ten minutes trying to untangle my headphones from a headband.
& every minute that I failed to do so, my anxiety got higher. as did his snoring..louder LOUDER
I smack him in the leg. He so inncocently, so calmly anwsers “what?”
…I say nothing because I feel badly for even getting irritated, because he has to work in the morning & again at night.
This was all followed by me getting on the internet & almost imidiately wanting to jump on facebook. I find myself asking why simply for the fact of watching this movie.
Are we all truly so bored with our own lives that we must check to see what everyone else is doing so we can only feel worse about our own dull uneventful lives.
But why does anyone honestly go on facebook in the first place?
My next delima followed what to listen to.
I’m in no particular mood, & normally you listen according to mood.
Right now I’m laying (or lying..not sure what is gramatically correct but for some reason this is the only word that is truly bothering me to have correct cause lying is like not telling the truth. I wonder if laying in past tense is spelled the same. I’ll google it eventually.)
I’m listening to piano solo on pandora.
I figured because I had no particular mood/thought process other than word vomitting this word document piano solo is helping everything spilling out. While also deseperatly trying to relax me.
Although I find this isn’t like the others. Word vomitting that is, because I’m not necessarily upset just awake & have no one to talk to & yet have so much running through my mind.
But no actual thought process, only finding myself turning up my music louder everytime I hear a faint snore.
If anyone would ever read this..what would they think?
I don’t believe it’s bad to open, well spoken. I mean people blog all the time & typically regarding things that freely come to mind.
I have found myself looking at the beginning of this rant or …..whatever it shall be called as i find myself pausing because although it may seem like a rant it is in reality a single though process almost lasting an entire hour.
Also I paused because through the piano on pandora it was interupted by a god damn katey parry commericial, which in a sense brought me back.
As I sit here in the dark typing every thought that pops into my head without the slightest modification, I think how this can’t possibly last forever and eventually I need to stop putting it all down and actually stop to process.
Process that I’m scared. Scared to be hurt. Scared to be more unhappy than I am.
The fact that I don’t necessarily change myself per say but modify myself to almost walk on eggshells (which seems like a really harsh way to put it) but in a way to only try and avoid letting myself ruin something so good.
I work. I save to be able to spend on things I dont necessarily need. To spend on 140.57 a month on a mistake I made last september.
I never realized how piano solo’s affected my thought process. As soon as I almost allowed myself to get upset for something that’s already happend. That at this moment in time I have no power to change but to only keep moving through, the music is so powerful
that it keeps driving you. Keeps driving me to think, to release, to express, to forgive, to tear up, but to be at peace, to remember, and to smile as the a high note is hit, but to ponder on whats to come, to feel hopeful as the song builds.
Without words.
It moves you. I can close my eyes & as the song transitions there is a short moment of silence where I don’t know what to think. Slight moment of not embaressment but if he would wake up what would he think, would I let him read this? Should I ever let anyone read this?
Back to untangling my headphones earlier. I couldn’t help but how I just wanted to give up on trying as his snoring got louder I wanted to just rip my skull candy apart & give up.
How many things do I give up on.
– Knitting
– Being Fit
– Walking yoda 3 times a day
– Keeping my room clean
– Not doubting the future
………………………………………………..fuck commercial
totally interrupts thought process
It’s now 2 am . god damn
Today a new day but it already feels like the last
When did a next day stop feeling like a new day?
Life is short.
Amber’s birthday is on thursday. Father’s day just past. All this time. Where does it go if you have nothing to show necessarily for the time that has passed?
I’m scared to stop typing. I cried when I was brushing my teeth.
He fell asleep as I told him my heart. If the piano stops. I hear his snoring & realize I’m alone with my thoughts again.
It’s not bad but I’m not gonna do anything dumb.
The feeling of my clicking keys feels almost theroputical.
It’s weird. Would I be this awake if I had to work tomorrow? If I was awake & I did have to work..Would I be pissed?
My pandora stopped.
Itunes.
nah nah nahnah nah nah nahnah nah NaNuchKa… i like this song
Legs off the bed, spine slouching into my belly button I feel awkwardly comfortable.
Not really sure where to go from here. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Can you really choose your own destiny?
I know it’s a deep random ass thought but I just don’t see how someone can just decide to just go for what they wanna do and actually be happy without any consiquences.
Me. gahh thought lost.
I’m tired.
I think. yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn
Still snoring. But done for the night.
Have to write my life story in an email limiting five pages tomorrow morning.
Comment by solo piano helps my word vomit flow. —
June 22, 2011
I love this blog and was hoping people on it might also appreciate things I like? I post them here http://ilovedreaming.tumblr.com/
Comment by Anonymous —
June 21, 2011
Hey, I don’t know if you’re a big fan of Bruce Springsteen, but Clarence Clemons, his sax player, just died at age 69. I was hoping you’d post something on here to commemorate the joy he spread through his music. Here’s a suggestion, if you don’t have something in mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1wg9jyvfN0. Thanks for reading; just want to commemorate this wonderful man’s life.
Comment by Chris —
June 20, 2011
I’ve started my own blog full of things I’ve written. I feel that maybe sharing what I’ve written will help me get an idea of what I want to do in the future.
http://tkirby.tumblr.com/
http://tamaswells.bandcamp.com/track/true-believers
I think you’re gonna like this song :)
I love this site :) It inspired me to start this -> http://ilovedreaming.tumblr.com/
Check out John Green, he’s an awesome writer and I think you’d enjoy his stuff ^^
you inspired me to start blogging! http://atanya.tumblr.com/
http://atanya.tumblr.com/
Hi(: just wanted to say that your blog is my favorite,! really(: just like that. Every time I visit it, there are new things which i love more and more every day, and the funny part is that every quote you post is exactly the same way I feel. Btw, here is a song that you’ll probably like it. The name of the band is: “Dog is dead” and the song “Glockenspiel song”. Hope you like it. Have a nice day. Byee(:
I have the feeling that this is the sort of thing you’d like to post. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAIpRRZvnJg&feature=player_embedded
THAT is amazing. I wish I could watch the seasons all over again – so addicting <3
Haha I just watched all 8 seasons in the past two weeks. :p
Lemme guess – scrubs fever? All your new music is from the scrubs playlist lol
This is beautiful. I hope you enjoy it! <3 http://vimeo.com/25451551
If you’ve got a minute today, read “If I Had My Life to Live Over” by: Nadine Stair … Truly Inspirational. You can find it on my blog, http://espressogandhi.blogspot.com/ … THANKS!
Is the shuffle function gone in the mix-tape?
I got the structure wrong. This is more like it-
Every
Child
Has known God,
Not the God of names,
Not the God of don’ts,
Not the God who ever does anything weird,
But the God who only knows four words
And keeps repeating them, saying:
“Come dance with Me.”
Come
Dance.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard of Sage Francis…but this video is pretty amazing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA8hzUDXvtk
I don’t know if you like Hafiz, but I love this poem by him called ‘The God Who Only Knows Four Words’: Every
Child
Has known God,
Not the God of names,
Not the God of dont’s,
Not the God who ever does
Anything weird,
But the God who only knows four words
And keeps repeating them, saying:
“Come dance with Me.”
Come
Dance.
Am I fucked? Have the things that have lead up to this very moment in time permanently screwed with my ability to just relax. I find myself @ 12:57 pm laying next to the person I care so much typing this very sentence while he snores, relaxed not a worry in the world ready to concor the day ahead. Me on the other hand have a million things on my mind of one of which is the fact that I just tried to confess the void of loneliness will never be filled because I’m in constant worry that I will fuck up somehow stupid. Tonight can be totalled to a complete failure. One: Confession the raw emotion/thought compelling me to stay awake and not be able to close my eyes and find peace of mind. Two: Watching a movie on being so ashamed of your life that you strive so hard for another, and never actually being able to reach your goal..(worries me) only for the simple fact that I know what I am capable in life. But how do I get there? And where is there ? Jesus I just don’t want to one day wake up and be so ashamed of my life I either decide I can’t go through it either sober, or worse..having to feel the need to pretend to be someone I’m not or going to the extreme of having to live envious of everyone else’s lives around me. Is being with someone not the right thing for me at this moment? Someone who’s life is so much better paved than my own? Although it is so wrong to even compare lives because we each come from different paths, different lives & for some reason at this time of at our lives we’ve crossed paths. Is someone who can sleep so soundly, truly have any real worry in their lives? Someone who has stability within family and friends. ….With someone who has a friend here an there, but family…simply means you share common physical characteristics. Everyone knows to have stability in one’s life you need to have it within yourself first to be able to be truly happy and content. Welllllllll where the fuck to find that? Try being single to two god damn years & getting the taste of stability and having it all crash at your feet. My solution…buying a fucking pug. Truth, it’s something I’ve wanted forever. Fail at the fact, it was the worst timing cause I’m living with the crazies..which means nothing is ever stable; therefore having a dog in an unstable environment is dumb as shit because tho who is not stable within themselves should not rely on a dog for unconditional love simply because it is the only thing that can give it to me without asking for too too much in return. FUCK HE SNORES LOUD. “BABE, STOP SNORING” “HUH…GNAHHHHHHHH GHNAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” It’s official, I’m typing everything that comes to my mind, for absolutly no reason. Haven’t decided if this is a bad thing. Or what the real purpose of this is. All I know is that I have really bad mispelling & I have made sure that every ‘i’ has been capatalized..except for that one. I honest to god just spent the last ten minutes trying to untangle my headphones from a headband. & every minute that I failed to do so, my anxiety got higher. as did his snoring..louder LOUDER I smack him in the leg. He so inncocently, so calmly anwsers “what?” …I say nothing because I feel badly for even getting irritated, because he has to work in the morning & again at night. This was all followed by me getting on the internet & almost imidiately wanting to jump on facebook. I find myself asking why simply for the fact of watching this movie. Are we all truly so bored with our own lives that we must check to see what everyone else is doing so we can only feel worse about our own dull uneventful lives. But why does anyone honestly go on facebook in the first place? My next delima followed what to listen to. I’m in no particular mood, & normally you listen according to mood. Right now I’m laying (or lying..not sure what is gramatically correct but for some reason this is the only word that is truly bothering me to have correct cause lying is like not telling the truth. I wonder if laying in past tense is spelled the same. I’ll google it eventually.) I’m listening to piano solo on pandora. I figured because I had no particular mood/thought process other than word vomitting this word document piano solo is helping everything spilling out. While also deseperatly trying to relax me. Although I find this isn’t like the others. Word vomitting that is, because I’m not necessarily upset just awake & have no one to talk to & yet have so much running through my mind. But no actual thought process, only finding myself turning up my music louder everytime I hear a faint snore. If anyone would ever read this..what would they think? I don’t believe it’s bad to open, well spoken. I mean people blog all the time & typically regarding things that freely come to mind. I have found myself looking at the beginning of this rant or …..whatever it shall be called as i find myself pausing because although it may seem like a rant it is in reality a single though process almost lasting an entire hour. Also I paused because through the piano on pandora it was interupted by a god damn katey parry commericial, which in a sense brought me back. As I sit here in the dark typing every thought that pops into my head without the slightest modification, I think how this can’t possibly last forever and eventually I need to stop putting it all down and actually stop to process. Process that I’m scared. Scared to be hurt. Scared to be more unhappy than I am. The fact that I don’t necessarily change myself per say but modify myself to almost walk on eggshells (which seems like a really harsh way to put it) but in a way to only try and avoid letting myself ruin something so good. I work. I save to be able to spend on things I dont necessarily need. To spend on 140.57 a month on a mistake I made last september. I never realized how piano solo’s affected my thought process. As soon as I almost allowed myself to get upset for something that’s already happend. That at this moment in time I have no power to change but to only keep moving through, the music is so powerful that it keeps driving you. Keeps driving me to think, to release, to express, to forgive, to tear up, but to be at peace, to remember, and to smile as the a high note is hit, but to ponder on whats to come, to feel hopeful as the song builds. Without words. It moves you. I can close my eyes & as the song transitions there is a short moment of silence where I don’t know what to think. Slight moment of not embaressment but if he would wake up what would he think, would I let him read this? Should I ever let anyone read this? Back to untangling my headphones earlier. I couldn’t help but how I just wanted to give up on trying as his snoring got louder I wanted to just rip my skull candy apart & give up. How many things do I give up on. – Knitting – Being Fit – Walking yoda 3 times a day – Keeping my room clean – Not doubting the future ………………………………………………..fuck commercial totally interrupts thought process It’s now 2 am . god damn Today a new day but it already feels like the last When did a next day stop feeling like a new day? Life is short. Amber’s birthday is on thursday. Father’s day just past. All this time. Where does it go if you have nothing to show necessarily for the time that has passed? I’m scared to stop typing. I cried when I was brushing my teeth. He fell asleep as I told him my heart. If the piano stops. I hear his snoring & realize I’m alone with my thoughts again. It’s not bad but I’m not gonna do anything dumb. The feeling of my clicking keys feels almost theroputical. It’s weird. Would I be this awake if I had to work tomorrow? If I was awake & I did have to work..Would I be pissed? My pandora stopped. Itunes. nah nah nahnah nah nah nahnah nah NaNuchKa… i like this song Legs off the bed, spine slouching into my belly button I feel awkwardly comfortable. Not really sure where to go from here. . . . . . . . . . . . . Can you really choose your own destiny? I know it’s a deep random ass thought but I just don’t see how someone can just decide to just go for what they wanna do and actually be happy without any consiquences. Me. gahh thought lost. I’m tired. I think. yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn Still snoring. But done for the night. Have to write my life story in an email limiting five pages tomorrow morning.
I love this blog and was hoping people on it might also appreciate things I like? I post them here http://ilovedreaming.tumblr.com/
Hey, I don’t know if you’re a big fan of Bruce Springsteen, but Clarence Clemons, his sax player, just died at age 69. I was hoping you’d post something on here to commemorate the joy he spread through his music. Here’s a suggestion, if you don’t have something in mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1wg9jyvfN0. Thanks for reading; just want to commemorate this wonderful man’s life.
I’ve started my own blog full of things I’ve written. I feel that maybe sharing what I’ve written will help me get an idea of what I want to do in the future. http://tkirby.tumblr.com/